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10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives, by Grace Cornish
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In her best-seller, 10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives, relationship expert Dr. Grace Cornish has written a lively, provocative guide for black women everywhere who want to shed the duds and find the studs who will treat them with respect.
According to Dr. Cornish, six out of every ten black women are either in bad relationships, share a man, or are celibate. The problem is not the women themselves, she explains, but the bad choices they keep making. In this frank and refreshing book, Dr. Cornish speaks to unique aspects of the African-American female psyche by targeting ten of the most common and foolish choices black women make in their lives regarding men, and how they can correct these problems.
Relying on case studies, interviews, and the letters she has received, Dr. Cornish gets to the heart of the matter by illuminating why black women, no matter how smart, savvy, and successful, continue to lose at the dating game, and how they can face, erase, and replace the problems that have kept them from finding true love.
- Sales Rank: #1483181 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Harmony
- Published on: 1999-10-12
- Released on: 1999-10-12
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.01" h x .50" w x 5.20" l, .45 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
From Library Journal
Listen up, sisters: psychologist Cornish, offers several reasons why black women fail in their relationships with men. They include disrespecting and competing with other women, looking for a man with money and status, and getting involved with a married man.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
"[This] book breaks all the rules . . . with a touch of wit and a lot of sass."
--Upscale Magazine
From the Inside Flap
In her best-seller, 10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives, relationship expert Dr. Grace Cornish has written a lively, provocative guide for black women everywhere who want to shed the duds and find the studs who will treat them with respect.
According to Dr. Cornish, six out of every ten black women are either in bad relationships, share a man, or are celibate. The problem is not the women themselves, she explains, but the bad choices they keep making. In this frank and refreshing book, Dr. Cornish speaks to unique aspects of the African-American female psyche by targeting ten of the most common and foolish choices black women make in their lives regarding men, and how they can correct these problems.
Relying on case studies, interviews, and the letters she has received, Dr. Cornish gets to the heart of the matter by illuminating why black women, no matter how smart, savvy, and successful, continue to lose at the dating game, and how they can face, erase, and replace the problems that have kept them from finding true love.
Most helpful customer reviews
33 of 36 people found the following review helpful.
Big ol' bag of BULL.
By rattlerbrat
First off, if I could give this book 0 stars, I would. Second, notice the title refers to the things black women do to mess up their lives, but all TEN mistakes are about relationships. Last I checked, women make a whooooole lot of mistakes than just sleeping with other people's men. Oops! I forgot - all black women are out to do is get rich, black husbands.
Also, there is NOTHING in this book that solely relates to black women. This easily could've been written by a woman of any race, directed to an audience of any race. The only thing Dr. Cornish mentioned that's even remotely ethnic-related was skin color, the light versus dark angle. But guess what - replace "light" and "dark" with "skinny" and "fat" and you're right back to the issues that ALL of us face as women. Is this woman honestly trying to tell us that only BLACK women sleep with married men, or sleep with men too soon, or rush into marriage too early? Please. Cornish touches very briefly on the issues of interracial relationships as well a VERY short mention on bisexual men. The way she was able to cram in so much homophobia on just a couple of short pages is a talent, indeed. As for white men, I'll spoil it for you - if the relationship the woman is having during of Cornish's little stories is ANYTHING but a black man, the dude is evil.
My problem isn't with the poor writing, the constant mention of her other book, or the repeated mentions of her TV show, the HORRIBLY annoying rhyming titles that are on EVERY...FRIGGING...PAGE, or the fact that Dr. Cornish doesn't even bother to discuss WHY some women act as they do (the only childhood trauma she touches on is her own), or the fact that some single woman is trying to tell other single women how to have successful relationships. (What's next? Is Oprah going to write a book about parenting?) My problem is her writing a general relationship advice book with was full of nothing but "no DUH" kind of so-called tips (don't sleep with a married man? WHOA, NO KIDDING!) and then pushing it off as a book solely for women of color. By painting us as a bunch of needy, gold-digging, colorstruck idiots, Dr. Cornish is no better than the TV producer she berates so heavily in the first chapter.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent book Every Black woman should read
By S. M. Anderson
I picked this book up after a friend suggested I read it. I read a chapter a day until I finished the book. Dr. Cornish compiled some things we as black women tend to do (she even admitted making some of the same bad choices) outlines the problems, and offers wonderful suggestion to help us STOP making the same bad choices. Bottom line is you have to be willing to hold yourself accountable and admit you are making these mistakes, and be willing to stop them. She will tug at your heart when she discusses the deaths of her mother and Aunt to men, and discusses how their bad choices played a role in their deaths. Six out of every black woman are either in bad relationships, share a man or choose to be celibate. Are you one of those six women? I also feel this book is not just for black women. I think any woman can read this book and find something in this book they can use to help them make wiser life choices.
In this book she will discuss:
1. Sisters Dissin Sisters ?
I wish every black woman would read this chapter!!! It's time for the madness to stop!!! We need to stop talking about each other, and really learn to love our fellow sisters.
2. No Money, No Honey
3. Exchanging Sexual dealings for loving
4. Looking for Mr. Right in the Wrong Places
5. Using your finance to maintain his romance
6. Staying on, although the respect is gone
7. Loving the "Married Bachelor"
8. Emotional dependency, plus unplanned pregnancy
9. decent proposal/Indecent disposal
10. Getting to the Church before time
One or more of these chapters will wake you up and make you take stock of your life. Take stock of the choices you have made, and hopefully you will make better choices in the future. This is an excellent book!!!
9 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Wonderful! It was like talking with my sister!
By MaryAnn Jackson
This is a wonderful book for any African-American woman who has dealt with abusive and rocky relationships with black men.
After the author discuss various senarios, at the end of the book she wonderfully points out that we should not go through excessive changes to get men in high places. We need to love ourselves first, and then everything else will fall in place. In God's time.
With a lot of self-love, we can become women of high achievement, on our own! On our own merit! Scary, but I know it to be true. I was once one of the sisters outlined in this author's book. I had the have the man with the BIG JOB, the BIG CAR, the BIG BANK ROLL, ETC. I learned the hard way, instead, of basking in someone else's spotlight create your own! The author brought this point out thorougly.
I never met the author, but it was like my best girl friend was speaking to me. I will definitely recommend this book to my sister-friends, nieces, and other women. I will also buy this author's next book! Actually, I look forward to its publishing.
One last thing, this author lost her mom at an early age through the hands of her mother's abusive boyfriend. She actually witnessed her mother's murder. Through time and her father's love, she made it through. Just think, that alone should be encouragement for us all. This is a strong sister, a survivor! YOU GO GIRL!!
Your sister-friend,
MaryAnn Jackson, San Diego, CA
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